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Understanding Child Custody Laws

June 5, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment
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You’ve in the realms of getting a divorce. What should you know about custody laws?

  • Custody laws differ from state to state, so make sure you know and understand them as they relate to where you live. Questions? Ask a lawyer.
  • Custody laws are put in place to protect children. If one parent is mentally unstable, for example, full custody may go to the other parent with supervised visitations being held weekly for the other parent.
  • The desire of the child’s parents is also considered when deciding on child custody. One or the other parent may be better suited to take care of issues of schooling and medical care. One parent may even volunteer to be the custodial parent, while the other may say he/she feels incompetent for the task.
  • Joint custody may be offered—equal rights for both parents in the raising of their child, when both parents are equal in their ability to care and make decisions for the child.
  • Child custody laws are best understood through the assistance of a lawyer who can help you with the process.
  • Sometimes, visitation rights to one parent are denied because of potential injury to the child. Because the physical and mental health of the child is so important, if abuse has taken place, visitation rights may be denied to the non-custodial parent.
  • Visitation rights are not usually denied to those incarcerated or who have a prison record.

Understanding child custody laws is only your first step. The next is to get an attorney who can work with you and help you with the important task at hand.

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Why You Need a Parenting Plan?

April 21, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

Children need love and guidance from both parents. When their parents no longer live in the same household a parenting plan helps to create a predictable environment for children to spend time with each of their biological parents.  A parenting plan is a legal document that addresses common parenting concerns, such as:

  • Dates and times of visitation
  • Holiday schedules. (For instance a child may spend Christmas Eve with mother and Christmas day with father.  Or the child may spend both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with the mother in even numbered years and with the father in odd numbered years.)
  • How medical decisions will be made.
  • School and social functions. (For instance, how will the noncustodial parent be notified of parent/teacher conferences, school programs, and the child’s athletic events?)

The best parenting plans anticipate areas of potential conflict between the parents and provide balanced solutions.  In addition, good parenting plans will provide a method for the parents to work out conflicts that they can’t resolve themselves by requiring mediation or arbitration.  Initially parenting plans may seem rigid and unnatural, but over time they provide both the parents and the children a predictable rhythm to their lives.

Parenting plans are living documents—which means that they need to modified as the children grow and their needs change.  While many courts have court facilitators that will help you write your parenting plan, it may be necessary to a hire a mediator to help work out conflicts.  Most areas of the country have Dispute Resolution Centers that offer mediation on a sliding fee scale.

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Wisconsin Parenting Time Schedule

March 8, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

When filing a parenting plan in Wisconsin parents should add a visitation schedule. It is necessary to include certain information about the visitation schedule such as how transportation will be handled, how child care will be handled, information about where the parents live, and information about the child’s school.

When parents are not able to come to an agreement on a parenting plan or visitation schedule they are required to attempt one session of mediation in Wisconsin. When no agreement can be reached each parent is to submit a schedule to the court and a final decision will be made by a judge. So, if you want to keep some control of the situation you may want to try to come to an agreement on a schedule.

The first step is coming up with a rotation schedule for overall time with the child. In a sole custody situation the child will live with the parent who has sole custody. Visitations with the noncustodial parent may include every weekend, alternating weekends, or even alternating weekend plus a weeknight visit. Parents who share joint physical custody of a child will usually split their time more evenly such as the child being with one parent for a week then the other parent for a week. Sometimes parents choose to split the time half and half each week.

Next is to determine additional visitation times pertaining to holidays. Holiday time should be split evenly between the parents so that each parent has equal time. Special events and vacation times should also be added to the schedule. Parents can also add provisions to the schedule. The more specific the provisions are, the better it is for both parents.

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Using Mediation for Parenting Schedule

February 9, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

In many states couples are being asked to try mediation before taking divorce and/or custody issues to the courts. Some couples are able to do this, however other couples cannot due to hostility. If you feel that you are a couple that can work out your issues through mediation, you will find that the process is much easier and much, much cheaper! A mediator is a neutral third party that can help resolve issues that may arise during the process. Mediators are able to also help get everything put together legally so that it can be presented to the courts properly.

When parents use mediation services and work to put together a parenting plan without court intervention this allows the children involved to feel less stress. Older children can be involved in the process and can voice their opinion about the schedule. Mediators will take into account the child’s wishes and what is in the best interest of the child.

One major advantage of using a mediator versus using litigation is that by using mediation parents can find a reasonable schedule that will work for them. They have a say in what happens. However, in litigation the court will usually make all of the decisions pertaining to the schedule. In situations where both parents are willing to work with a mediator, an agreement is able to be reached approximately 60 percent of the time without any court intervention.

To make mediation services work it is necessary that both parents come with an open mind and be willing to listen. When parents come to mediation with an open mind they are able to brainstorm and come to a solution that is workable for everyone involved. Most importantly, it is important that the focus be on what is best for the children, not on what went wrong with the marriage.

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Children and Divorce

February 5, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

Divorce can be a messy situation and cause a lot of stress on everyone involved. Many times husband and wives get so caught up in the divorce and the reasons behind it that they forget about the others involved in the situation . . . the children. Children deal with divorce in many ways. The age of the child and the animosity or cooperation between the divorcing parents can have a huge impact on how a child manages what is going on in the family.

In a divorce situation no matter how the parents deal with each other in front of the children, the children are going to go through a grieving process. The feelings and emotions of a family splitting up can be similar to a death in the family. In fact, divorce is basically the death of an intact family. Nothing will ever be the same again. No matter the age of the child, on some level they understand this and most have a difficult time accepting this fact or understanding the reasons why.

It is advisable in a divorce situation, especially one where there is extreme conflict between the parents that parents seek out therapy for the children to help them adjust to what is going on in the family. If it is not feasible to seek out therapy through a licensed marriage and family therapist, possibly a religious leader could talk with the children to help them work through their emotions and to help them better understand what is happening in their life.

It is also important for parents to realize the difficulties their children may be facing in this situation. Keep the child out of the middle of the conflict and ensure that they are receiving the positive attention they need. Children need to continue to have contact with both parents whenever possible and need the assurance that even though the parents can no longer live together that both parents still love the child and want to spend time with him/her.

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Helping Your Child Deal With Divorce

January 16, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

Children of all ages have difficulty understanding why their parents are getting divorced. How can you help your child understand and cope with your divorce? Your child’s reaction to the divorce will be a direct result of how you tell them about the divorce and how you and your soon-to-be ex choose to deal with each other in front of the children and/or how you talk about each other to the children or when the children are around. There are many things that you can do to help your children cope with the up-coming divorce and adjust to their new life.

First, when initially telling the children about your decision it is best coming from both parents if possible. You need to set aside a time when the entire family can be present. This will put you in a situation where you can avoid blaming each other and will give the children the opportunity to ask questions.

Plan ahead what you are going to tell the children. If possible discuss this with the other parent and come to an agreement about what will be discussed and what will not be discussed in your family meeting.

It may be difficult, but you must stay calm. If this means that you need to keep the meeting short or that you cannot meet with the other parent present then that is how you need to plan the meeting. If you lose control of your emotions your children are going to have difficulty handling the dynamics of the divorce. Children react to their parents emotions. You need to find a way to stay strong for your children to help them through this difficult time.

Listen to your children. You are dealing with a lot of emotions right now yourself, but your children are going to be dealing with a lot now too. You are losing your spouse. Your child will feel as though he is losing his parents. Acknowledging your child’s concerns and truly listening to what they have to say is important in the healing process for all of you.

Filed Under: Divorce, General Tagged With: , ,

Types of Adoptions

January 4, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

When people think of adoption, most people think right away of newborn or infant adoptions. However, there are many other children needing permanent loving homes. There are many different adoption options available for those wanting and willing to open their homes and their hearts to children in need of happy, loving homes.

Fost-adopt is when a child is placed into a special foster home which has agreed to adopt the child if they are not able to be placed back with the biological parents. Once the biological parents’ rights are permanently terminated the foster parents are able to adopt the child. This type of adoption is considered a legal risk adoption. This means that there is a risk that the child will be returned to the biological parents before adoption can happen. In this situation the foster parents are aware of the risk involved before agreeing to take the child in.

One of the most common forms of adoption is step-parent adoption. This type of adoption takes place when a step-parent takes full legal and financial responsibility for a child through adoption. In this type of adoption one of the biological parents has their parental rights terminated. This not only severs the legal connection with the biological parent but with their family as well. The laws governing this type of adoption vary from state to state.

Semi-open adoptions is a type of adoption in which the placing parents and the adopting parents may have some contact with each other through letters, pictures, emails, etc., and may even spend time together at the hospital during labor and delivery. With this type of adoption there is seldom contact between the biological parents and the adoptive parents after the adoption is finalized. In a closed adoption the adopting parents and the parents placing the child for adoption never meet each other and know very little if anything about each other.

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Your Custody Arrangement Options — Part 1

December 17, 2010 By admin Leave a Comment
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When you have decided that a divorce is the best or only option for you and your family, you will find yourself dealing many important decisions requiring your immediate attention. But of all the pressing matters you must attend to, none may be as important as the child custody arrangement you make with your spouse.

There are sever types of custody arrangements, but the two most common are joint custody and sole custody. As with all custody arrangements, sole and joint custody rights are granted to the parents by court order. It is beneficial for both parties to agree on the arrangement, but in situations of physical abuse, neglect, or trauma the court will order a custody arrangement that is in the best interest of the child.

Joint Custody

Joint Custody is the most common type of custody arrangement and involves both parents sharing the responsibility of raising the child. Both mother and father agree to make joint decisions regarding their child’s life such as issues involving medical care, education, and extracurricular activities. In this type of arrangement, both parents agree to remain active participants in the child’s life, and commit to regular and continual contact with the child.

Joint custody does not necessarily mean physical custody, where the child lives 50% of their time with one parent and then 50% of their time with the other. This is a separate arrangement, handled through the court process.

Sole Custody

Sole Custody involves one parent retaining primary responsibility for the children. Any decisions regarding the children are made by the parent awarded sole custody – however, at their discretion a parent with sole custody may include the other parent in decisions regarding their children’s care and upbringing. Unless the court has decided otherwise, the other parent continues to retain approved visitation rights. The other parent is also expected to adhere to the financial responsibilities ordered by the court.

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Help Your Child Cope with Divorce

December 4, 2010 By admin Leave a Comment
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At this time, you have just completed one of the toughest conversations you will have with your child – you have told him/her of your definite decision to leave your marriage and seek a divorce. If you did it the right way, you and your spouse sat down with your child and explained to them why this is happening and what to expect in the immediate future. You heaped him/her with love, listened patiently to his/her concerns, and made positive assurances that you will always love and support them.

Now, you might be thinking your child understands what happened, and is ready to move on. Unfortunately, this is not the situation for many children. Instead, you may find your child misbehaving at home or in school. He/she may refuse to cooperate or openly defy your instructions. A child upset about divorce may believe his/her negative behavior will bring parents back together. If you are focused on getting your child out of trouble, then you may forget about divorcing.

In situations such as this, your role is to be a supportive, reassuring presence in your child’s life. Explain to your children that you are leaving the marriage, but you are not leaving them. Continue to be an active presence in their life, even if it seems they do not want you to be there. Respond to negative behavior firmly, but don’t allow negative behavior become an act of attention seeking. Therefore, it’s a good move to reward positive actions with lots of praise, while you give brief, disciplinary attention to negative behavior

To help your child move through these issues, it’s important to understand why the behavior is happening and that your children are merely reacting to a bad situation. Remember, at this point you]ve had time to work through your feeling, express your anger, and cry over your disappointment – now, it is their turn.

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Familiarize Yourself with Adoption – Part 1

December 2, 2010 By admin Leave a Comment

Adopting a child is a selfless act of love and generosity. Adoption is not a new process, but the plight of unfortunate, parent-less children has never been as well known as it is today. With the recent increase of celebrity adoptions, renewed attention has been brought to the adoption process, and the happiness awaiting young children in need of parents.

If you are considering adoption, you will have several questions regarding type, cost, and legal issues. Of the three, types of adoptions are the most important as the type of adoption you chose will influence the cost and legal issues of bringing a new daughter or son into your family.

Before attempting to adopt a child, it’s important to familiarize yourself with the two most common forms of adoption: Agency adoptions and independent adoptions.

Agency Adoptions

An agency adoption is handled through a state regulated agency that places children with parents interested in adopting. As a state agency, the adoption agency is licensed to offer adoption services. There are two types of adoption agencies: Public and private. A private adoption agency is typically run by a charitable organization or is affiliated with a social service agency. Private adoption agencies usually assist expectant parents, who did not wish to keep their child, find loving adoptive homes. In contrast, public agencies typically care for wards of the court, who have been removed from their home because they have been orphaned or are victims of abuse, neglect, or abandonment.

Independent Adoption

Independent adoptions are handled directly between the expecting parents and the adoptive parents. In an independent adoption scenario, a clergy member or a physician may refer the potential adoptive parents to an expectant couple who wishes to give their child up for adoption. Independent adoptions are highly regulated and not allowed in all states. Because of the legal issues involved in setting up an independent adoption, legal representation by both parties is highly recommended.

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